


Désolé

by Greenmia (Dontwantpeoplefindingme)



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, StarKid Productions RPF, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major Original Character(s), Major character death - Freeform, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Two Endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23907847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dontwantpeoplefindingme/pseuds/Greenmia
Summary: A retelling of the events that happened during Black Friday.Note: This is a story based of the relationship between Ethan Green and the portrayal of a an original character, who is a PEIP Agent. This is an established relationship.
Relationships: Ethan Green & Hannah Foster, Ethan Green/Original Character, Lex Foster & Ethan Green, Original Character & Original Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Kris, this is for you. I legit cried making this so...karma I guess for making everyone cry from my last fanfiction. 
> 
> I hope you like it! And happy birthday to Erik! :)

Waking up to Erik’s face was always one of Ethan’s absolute favorite things to do. Despite seeing each other multiple times a week, it was rare that his boyfriend actually stayed the night, since Erik almost always had to get up to go to headquarters early in the morning. 

So that Friday morning was definitely special to Ethan. There was no work, no need to get up until a bit later, when he had to pick up Hannah to take her to the mall to meet her sister. It was just him and Erik, and Ethan quite liked it that way. 

That morning he’d woken up first, his face mere inches from Erik’s. He couldn’t help the soft grin that took over his face at how adorable the man looked; his hair was rumpled, stray strands splayed every which way. His cheek was smushed against his arm, fingers near Ethan’s hair, as if he’d fallen asleep running them through it. He probably had, if Ethan remembered correctly. Ethan himself had fallen into a quick slumber from the fingers carding through his hair, the man whispering sweet nothings into his ear. 

Ethan couldn’t help but just stare at the pretty man, eyes roaming over full lips and smooth, tanned skin. The brunette was itching for his sketchbook, wanting to tool around with a pencil once again to see if it’d capture the image in front of him to the best of its abilities. 

Of course, he couldn’t, with Erik’s other arm draped over him. That, and he didn’t want to look away long enough to grab what he needed. 

He must have lost track of how long he had been looking, because before he knew it, the striking green eyes of his boyfriend were blinking open to catch him in the act. 

“Mmm, having fun, baby…?” 

Ethan felt his cheeks tint a light pink, but he smiled. “So what if I was? You’re nice to look at.” 

Erik rolled his eyes, but there was a grin plastered to his face. He slid a hand up to play with a few stray curls that had fallen into Ethan’s face. “Why thank you...you’re quite a sight yourself.” 

Ethan leaned forward to steal a kiss. Erik’s slight stubble scraped across his skin, but the brunette found he didn’t mind in the slightest. He tried to pull away after a moment, but Erik was reluctant, pulling him back into the kiss by the back of his neck. Ethan giggled against his lips, and only pressed closer. 

Ethan felt as if they could have just sat there like that for hours, if not for the shrill ring of Erik’s cellphone filling the room. The younger of the two let out a loud groan, glaring at the offending device over Erik’s shoulder. The redhead gave his own sigh of disdain before reaching back to grab it. 

“Y’ello?” Erik’s face went from tired to exhausted in around two seconds. “Yeah, I’ve got a few minutes. Go on.” 

Ethan sat in silence, head against his pillow as he watched. He always watched, he wanted to make sure everything was alright. 

“...two days? I thought that was set for three weeks from now—yeah, I know John said the situation was getting worse, I just—“ Erik’s lips thinned into a line. “I got it. Yeah...thanks, Ethen. Yeah….yeah...okay, bye.” 

“Another mission?” Ethan asked, blue eyes full of curiosity. Erik nodded, running a hand over his face. 

“It’s fucking dumb. More than two weeks ahead of schedule.” He frowned. “This one might take a bit too. It’s high risk.”

“So I won’t get to see you for a bit..?” Ethan didn’t like that one bit. “And what do you mean ‘high risk’? It’s not dangerous, right?”

“My whole job is dangerous, baby.” 

“Yeah, but…” Ethan sat up suddenly, too jittery to lay still. “You don’t usually consider anything high risk. What’s so different about this one?” 

A sigh came from the older man as he sat up as well. He took Ethan’s hand into his, kissing his knuckles. 

“Remember how I told you about that new technology P.E.I.P was working on?” 

“A portal, right?” 

“Exactly. Did I tell you what we were planning on using it for?” 

Ethan shook his head, his worry amping up the longer Erik spoke. 

“Well, there’s this...creature—“ 

“Creature?” Ethan looked skeptical at the term. What were they talking about, some aliens that could take over your mind or something? Hell no. 

Erik raised an eyebrow. “Yes, a creature. John’s been obsessed with finding a way to get to him for years now. That portal’s our ticket to his home field, babe. We can catch him by surprise, before things escalate.” He searched Ethan’s eyes, looking for any hint that he understood what he was talking about. “The only catch is that it’s gonna be super risky. This guy...from what John tells us, he’s pretty fucking dangerous. He could probably end all of us with a snap of his fingers—“

“Wait wait wait,” Ethan’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t understand. You guys are _willingly_ going right to this guy, when he could easily kill you guys without a second thought? What _bullshit_ , Erik.” 

Erik squeezed Ethan’s hand, but the man was quick to pull it away. 

“Who’s even that dangerous anyway? What’s he even doing that you guys need to stop him, and stop him in two fucking days, huh?” Ethan’s voice was rising steadily. He didn’t like this one bit. He knew that being an agent like Erik came with risks. But fighting some otherworldly creature that could kill him like he was nothing but an ant under its toe? Ethan didn’t want his boyfriend having any part in it. 

“Why do you have to go? If John wants to fight this thing, shouldn’t he be going by himself? Why drag others in who have no idea what they’re up against?” 

“John’s told us enough—“ 

“What’s the point if it’s practically a suicide mission anyways?!” Furious, Ethan rolled out of bed. He began to pace the room, face getting more red by the second as he yelled. 

“You’re going to some different fucking dimension, right? That’s what you told me the portal was for. That’s already dangerous enough. But you wanna fight some—“ 

“God.” 

“—Some god!” Ethan stopped in his tracks, an absolutely horrified expression taking over his face. “ _A god?!_ What the fuck do you mean, a god?!” 

Erik looked tired. “Ethan, hon. You have to calm down. It’s not that big of a deal—“

“But it _is!_ You could fucking die, Erik. What the fuck?!” 

Erik stood then, walking over to where his boyfriend was pacing to put his hands on the man’s shoulders. _“Ethan.”_ His voice was stern, and Ethan couldn’t help the involuntary shiver that ran down his spine. “I promise you, everything is going to be fine. We have a good plan put together. You trust me, right? You know I’d be more worked up about this if it was that much of a risk.” 

“Of course I trust you!” Ethan hadn’t cooled off much. He still had much to get off his mind about the situation. He wasn’t Ethan Green without being hotheaded. “But I don’t trust John McNamara and his fucking decision making!”

Now that irked Erik a bit. “Don’t say that, Eth. John is one of the smartest people I know. He wouldn’t put us all in danger for the hell of it.” 

Ethan shrugged Erik’s hands from his shoulders, going to his closet to grab clothing to change into while he argued. 

“That’s bull. If he was so smart he’d know your goddamn agency isn’t a match for a god! Absolute bullshit, Erik.” 

“Says you!” 

Ethan whipped around to glare at Erik. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?” Erik stayed silent, and that only pissed Ethan off more. He finished slipping on his shirt, angrily throwing his pajama shirt Erik’s way. “Am I not fuckin’ smart to you?! Am I not good enough to know how absolutely goddamn reckless this mission is?!” 

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Ethan was finally dressed, and Erik was starting to panic. What did the brunette think he was doing? 

“Then what _did_ you mean? Because that’s certainly what it sounded like.”

“I don’t understand why you’re freaking out over this, Ethan! I’ve done dangerous missions before and you were fine with it!” 

Before Ethan knew it, Erik was blowing up at him too. 

“You can’t fucking control what I can and can’t do! This is my job, Ethan. I don’t have a choice in the matter, and _you_ certainly don’t have one either! It’s a week or so that I’m gone, and you just have to suck it the fuck up, okay?! I’m gonna be fine, perfectly, fucking, absolutely fine!” 

“But what if you aren’t?!” 

“Ethan…”

“No—“ The brunette slipped on a pair of old boots, the first shoes he saw. He shrugged on his leather jacket, stuffing both his keys and wallet in it from off his bedside table. “I’m done. I’m not dealing with this right now. This is fucking stupid, and you’re too brainwashed by your boss to see any sense.” 

Erik frowned. “Where are you even going? It’s not even ten yet.” 

“To pick up Hannah. Promised Lex I’d take her shopping.” He stormed out of the bedroom. Erik followed closely behind. “Why do you even care? Shouldn’t you be planning for your fucking mission?” 

Erik put a hand on Ethan’s shoulder, but the touch was rebuked immediately. “Ethan, I’d explain more but I’ve probably already told you too much! You signed up for this when you agreed to date me, c’mon!” 

Ethan huffed, not bothering to look back. He knew I’d he did, he’d only surrender to whatever words Erik had to offer. “I agreed to risky missions, not ones of certain death!” 

He swung open the apartment door, the cold that greeted him only serving to fuel his anger. 

“Ethan, stop! Come on, we can talk about this!” 

“Oh, I’m probably not smart enough for that, sorry!” He sneered, before slamming the door shut behind him. Back in the apartment, Erik was cursing up a storm. He kicked a chair in the living room, cursing louder when he stubbed his toe on the leg of it. 

“Fuck! Fuck! _Fuck!_ ” This wasn’t how Erik envisioned their morning. Not at all. He was supposed to make breakfast for Ethan, they were supposed to play footsie under the table while he teased his boyfriend for not liking syrup on his pancakes and Ethan teased him for liking orange juice better than apple. 

They were _not_ supposed to have a fight like this, and Erik found himself distressed in the worst possible way. He was pissed. How could Ethan not understand how important this mission was? How he was saving lives, that he’d be absolutely fine. John told them they could pull the agents back through the portal at any time, that wiggly liked to play rather than kill. He wouldn’t destroy them all right away. He was too cocky for that. 

And Ethan calling John stupid? If that man was anything, he definitely wouldn’t be stupid. He was one of the most intelligent people Erik knew, and for Ethan to insult a man like that, one that’d risk everything for a good cause….it didn’t sit right with him. 

He heard the shrill ring of his phone once again, and Erik pulled it from his pocket with haste. He didn’t look at the display screen before answering. 

“What do you want?!” 

“Woah, dude. Chill the fuck out.” Ethen. “What’s got your thong in a twist?” 

Erik let out a long sigh. “Not a good time, man. Ethan didn’t take the mission news well…” 

“Too soon? We can’t help that much, bud—“

“No. He doesn’t like what we’re gonna be doing. His mindset is currently, _“you’re all gonna die! Why the hell are you going?”_ ” Erik took a point to throw his hands up, as if Ethen could somehow see his gestures through the receiver. 

“You told him…? Erik, that’s the stupidest thing you could have done. Of course he’s gonna react badly when you tell him we’re basically going up against something that could kill you as easily as we pick leaves off trees.” 

Erik rubbed his temple. “He trusts me, E. I promised I’d tell him the risks, just in case something happens to me. That way he knows what happened to me and not some crock of shit the agency would make up for secrecy purposes.” 

“John’s not gonna like that you told…” 

“Well, it’s already over and done with. He’s fucking pissed and now my Friday, and quite possibly my whole weekend before the mission, is ruined.”

“Well, it’d be ruined anyway, regardless of Ethan.” 

Erik paused where he’d been pacing across the apartment. “The hell do you mean?” 

A sigh came from the other end. “John and Tate figured out where they were getting those spikes of power from. And it’s not good.” There was silence, then,”You know those commercials we’ve been seeing…’bout those new dolls?” 

“The Wiggly dolls?” Erik’s brows furrowed. “What do they have to do with anything?” 

“They’re holding part of this entity’s power….they’re terrifying. Tate brought one into the lab yesterday when I was there to talk to John...and you could have sworn that doll was a piece of meat to a starving man, with the way everyone tried to run over others to grab it. It only stopped when John shot the bastard right through the middle.” 

“So it has some kind of...mind controlling power? Is that it’s goal?” 

“I think so...John’s thinking that its goal is something to do with the human race itself. To take it over.”

“Well, fuck. That’s even worse than we thought.”

“Exactly. But at least we know now the name of this thing. Though what kind of name is fuckin’ ‘Wiggly’. You can have any name and you pick that..?”

“I mean...who’s really thinkin’ about the name when he’s ripping you limb from limb, Ethen…”

“Yeah, yeah...I gotcha. Listen, I’d tell anyone you don’t want hurt to stay away from the mall today, okay? Those things are gonna be everywhere with it being Black Friday and all. Then get your ass to headquarters, capiche? Plan’s moved up to today. We don’t want anything drastic happening today because of those dolls.” 

“Gotcha. I’ll be over in about an hour...I gotta try and call Ethan and reason with him—“ Erik froze. “Oh, _fuck.”_

“What? What’s the issue?” 

“Ethan was taking Hannah to the mall today...to meet up with Lex. Shit, man. I gotta go find him.” 

Ethen groaned. “Erik, you don’t have time. Just call him. We need you here. He’ll be fine.” 

“But Ethen—“

“No. Your job comes first, dude. Call. Him.” 

A few beeps. He’d hung up. 

Now Erik was officially panicking. Ethan could be in danger. _Ethan could be in danger._

Erik rushed to find Ethan’s contact, pressing the call button. His leg bounced as he listened to the the ringing drone on, and on, and on…

_“This is Ethan. You know what to do.”_

“FUCK!” Erik threw his phone to the couch, his hands coming up to grab at his hair. He needed to get to Ethan, but he needed to get to headquarters. Ethan didn’t know about the dolls…

He tried calling again. And again. And again. The outcome wasn’t any different, and Erik was starting to leave more and more desperate pleads to answer his calls, to leave the mall with Hannah and Lex and not turn back. But Ethan never answered, and Erik felt like he was going crazy. 

After twenty minutes of this, he knew it was useless. He needed to get to headquarters. 

_Ethan would be fine..._ He told himself. _He’ll be fine and everything is going to be okay._ Taking a deep, calming breath, he went back to the bedroom to get ready. He was going to go to work. Ethan would be fine. 

Everything was going to be alright. 

Ethan, meanwhile, was very much still upset. He’d turned his phone off after the second call, the device going right into his pocket. Hannah peered at him curiously. 

“You alright, Eth?”

He gritted his teeth and turned to her, putting on his best smile. “Just peachy, Banana! Just some friends who don’t know when to shut their mouths.” 

They’d gotten to the mall just a bit ago. Ethan had barely any time on the five minute drive to get Hannah to cool off from his argument, and he knew she could tell how bothered he was by how noncompliant she was being. She wouldn’t listen to him unless he told her what was wrong, and of course, he wouldn’t say a word. 

Lex chastised him for being impatient when he showed up with Hannah looking like he was going to pop a blood vessel. 

_“Calm the fuck down, Green. You being upset is just going to make things worse. Chill, so that you can help me put this backpack on her. 7000 dollars is a lot of money that her and I need, and I really can’t fuck this up, Ethan.”_

He calmed down a bit after that. He knew how important getting the money for one of those weird...doll things was to her. It was just what they needed to leave Hatchetfield, and if Ethan could help his best friend leave that shithole, he would. 

He felt a tad guilty though. He hadn’t told Erik anything of what he was doing, what they were planning. All the research he’d done and the conversations...of Erik found them, he’d probably be sorely disappointed in Ethan. But he was doing what he had to do, and if stealing this doll would help Lex and Hannah, he’d do it. 

“Alright, Han,” He started, turning the two of them around a corner. Down the hall was a shop he’d been scouting for weeks now. “We gotta make one stop, and then we can go to the cineplex, okay?” 

She nodded, hooking her fingers under the backpack straps to fiddle with them. “Need a gift?” 

He nodded. “Exactamundo, Banana. I found the perfect thing a couple a days ago for someone and I finally got enough to buy it and take you to have a bit a fun.” 

She smiled, big and wide. “For someone special? Right?” 

It definitely was. Despite him being angry with Erik, he still was his boyfriend. And well, Ethan loved him. A lot. He hadn’t told him yet, but he was planning to sometime soon. He got giddy just thinking about it…

Maybe he should call him? No...he had to stay true to what he thought about what Erik was doing. That mission was dangerous, and Ethan would have none of it. He didn’t want Erik going. 

They reached the store in a matter of seconds, and Ethan quickly spotted what he’d been looking for. It was a small necklace, the chain thin and light. It had a small charm on it, the charm the shape of a small set of drums, another charm with a little heart resting behind it. 

He felt Erik would like it, with how the man was constantly trying new things on that beloved drum set of his, how dear it was to his heart. Ethan loved listening to him play, even if it could be a tad loud. He was truly gifted, and the brunette always found himself entranced in how passionate Erik was about playing. 

“That’s it?” Hannah piped up from beside him. He nodded, placing it on his palm to show her. 

“Reminds you of Erik, don’t it?” 

She giggled, “He likes drums a lot.” 

“That he does, Banana. Come on, we gotta pay for this. Then movie time.” 

She squealed with delight, shoving him toward the register so that he’d pay quicker. 

He handed the amused cashier the necklace. “Gift for her?” The girl asked, eying Hannah behind him. 

He shook his head. “For my partner. She’s just _very_ supportive.” 

The cashier simply laughed, wrapping up the necklace in a sheet of tissue paper, then put it in a small string-laced bag. 

“Sounds like a sweet little gift for Christmas. Thirty-five, sixty-eight,” She said. 

That...was a bit more than he’d planned. But it should be fine, he thought, pulling out his wallet. He’d have enough for Hannah too. Hopefully. 

He handed her two twenties, both looked as if they’d seen some wear. She made the transaction quick, as if she could tell he hadn’t been prepared for the amount, handing him his change in the span of a minute. 

He thanked her, putting the change in his wallet. He took the bag with the necklace she held out for him, and then him and Hannah were on their way. 

He blew out a breath when they left. Of course he hadn’t prepared enough for when it was important. That was just like him, wasn’t it? 

“Movie time?” Hannah asked, snapping him from his thoughts. 

“Yeah! Yeah. Movie time. I heard they came out with a new one Lex had been sayin’ you wanted to see...um...what was it…?” 

“Santa Claus is Going to Highschool!” She looked excited, and Ethan felt his worry fade to the back of his mind for now. He was going to give her a good day. He wouldn’t let his own issues cloud it. 

“Sounds fun. Let’s get a move on then, Kiddo. Don’t wanna miss the next showing.” 

Hannah beamed, and Ethan couldn’t help but smile back. That was the most content he’d feel for the next few hours. 

It was when they arrived at the cineplex that things started to go downhill, and quick. He didn’t have enough money for tickets. That was the first event, one that made his blood boil. He was pissed with himself for not preparing, pissed with the cineplex for charging nearly thirty bucks for a dumb kids movie. 

He’d gotten so mad that he’d grabbed the employee by the collar, a mistake on his part, and one that caught the attention of the security officer he’d wanted to avoid. 

Technically Ethan wasn’t _supposed_ to be allowed at the mall, with how they caught him selling bud behind it months prior. He was hoping they’d either forgotten or forgiven the whole incident. He was wrong, so very wrong. 

He felt dread creep into his gut when the officer caught him. What would he tell Erik when they threw him into some sort of mall jail? How disappointed would his boyfriend be in him? 

All these thoughts running through his head, then none when the security officer shoved him away, telling the lot of them to get out of the mall. He was confused...yet relieved. 

He watched as the man ran off, the employee from earlier disappearing as well. He sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to listen to the officer. He wasn’t that type of person, and he promised Hannah a day of fun. He was going to give it to her. 

He should’ve listened when he was told to leave. 

He’d sat by Hannah after the whole ordeal, tried to explain why he was at fault in the simplest terms, tried to console her when he rambled about the “black and white” as she called it. He wanted to explain to her that this was just the way things were right now, but that they’d get better. He knew they would get better. 

He should’ve listened when Hannah told him otherwise, told him things were going to get worse. But he didn’t. 

He’d stood when he heard the angry sounds of people making a ruckus, every nerve in his body telling him to scram. 

And when the first man of the two ran up to him, demeanor almost rabid, he made his nth mistake of the day. His father had always told him that he was too weak, too empathetic. He’d asked if the man was okay, and the man’s response was a strike to his jaw. 

Shock was the first thing Ethan felt, pain blooming in the area he was hit. And then the other man came, and suddenly he was being assaulted by both of them. 

The question of why and how and what shot rapid fire through his mind. 

He could hear Hannah yelling for him, could almost feel her fear. He screamed for her to run, to go hide in another part of the mall where she’d be safer. 

He was knocked down then, and he felt sick. He barely had time to recover as he received blows one after another. He could barely breathe, barely think. He felt something dribble down his chin, and he didn’t even have to look to know it was blood. 

Pain exploded suddenly in his head, and he gasped, choking on his own breath. He tried desperately to cover himself from the attack, but it proved to be useless. He laid there like a rag doll, head buzzing with a newfound numbness as he received blow after blow to it. 

He couldn’t move, and he didn’t even register when the two men stopped until moments after. He could vaguely hear them speaking, the words muddled by the ringing in his ears. 

A doll...they’d attacked him for a _doll?_ He would have laughed if he could. Of course he got saddled with a stupid end, dying over a fucking doll. 

Because that’s how this was gonna end, right? That’s what he thought. He was going to succumb to his injuries, he wasn’t going to make it. His fingers twitched. 

He wanted to call Erik. _Erik._ God, what would Erik think if he saw him now? He didn’t deserve that man. He was too weak, too foolish. This is what he deserved. He’d been lucky for too long. He should’ve known when the universe brought Erik Fox into his life, should’ve known it was too good to be true for him to get to spend the rest of his life with him. 

And of all the foolish things he had to do, of course he fought with him. The last time he would ever get to see him, and Ethan acted like that. He didn’t even get to tell him that he loved him… 

Ethan’s eyes blinked open, the vague sound of footsteps drawing near. He heard voices. These were new. A man and a woman. The man’s voice...it sounded familiar. He’d heard it before. 

He didn’t fight the figure when he was turned over. Ethan could just barely make out the silhouette, and tears sprung into the corners of his eyes. Was that…? 

_Erik._

He could see black spots dance in his vision, could feel himself falling into the depths of unconsciousness. With one last ditch effort to make up for what he’d done that morning, he used the last of his energy to mumble out, “‘M sorry ‘bout yellin’, Erik...just wan’ you safe...I love you…” 

He’d barely finished the sentence, barely uttered out the last words before his eyes fluttered shut, and he fell into the blackness he’d always feared. 

The voice that belonged to the man, was, unfortunately, not Erik Fox. The two who watched Ethan fall under were none other than Tom Houston and Becky Barnes. 

Erik Fox was farther away, still stuck at PEIP headquarters. His fingers drummed anxiously on his thigh, where he sat hunched over on one of the many chairs that littered the room. 

“Can I go yet?” 

Ethen let out a sigh beside him, shaking his head. “John said not to go to the mall, Erik. It’s crawling with Wiggly’s minions. You heard the news just as clear as I did.” He ran a hand through his long locks. “We stay here, we wait for orders. John’s busy getting the president—“

“Like he’ll be any help.” 

Ethen’s jaw clenched, and he let out another sigh. “Stop being so pessimistic. John believes in him, so should we.” 

“When the fuck have you just followed orders blindly?!” 

Erik could tell that Ethen was close to snapping at him, with the way the man glared at him. Another sigh. 

“You need to calm down—“

“Calm down?!” Erik stood suddenly, his eyes wide with anger. He was the one who snapped first. “I’m not going to fucking _calm down_ when my goddamn _boyfriend_ could be in danger!” 

“He could’ve gotten out—“ 

“I watched the footage of those who got out, Ethen! He wasn’t in there! He’s still in that god forsaken mall, and I can’t do a fucking thing to help him because _“John’s orders”!_ Don’t you dare tell me to calm down until I know for sure he’s okay!” 

Erik hadn’t even realized how worked up he’d been until he stopped yelling. He was panting slightly, eyes stinging with unshed tears. 

He didn’t speak for a while after that. Not when Ethen tried to comfort him, and certainly not when John returned with the president. He pretended as if he was busy with work, pretended he wasn’t listening to John talk about how dangerous Wiggly and his influence was. 

He tried to keep his feelings at bay, tried to keep a cool head. 

He felt sick the longer time went on. The day just got worse and worse. John was gone, the president the only one returning from their shared mission. Chaos in other parts of the world. 

Still no word from Ethan. 

Erik was about ready to scream until he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He froze for a moment, glancing at those around him before pulling it out. 

Lex. 

He rushed to put the device to his ear, heart beating a mile a minute. “Lex, hey. What’s going on? Are you alright? Is everyone else alright?” 

“You need to come down here.”

Erik’s heart stopped. “Why?” 

“Mall’s on fire. I can’t find Ethan anywhere and...Hannah won’t tell me anything. She won’t say anything until you’re here.” 

He could vaguely hear Hannah yelling for him in the background of the call, and Erik’s stomach sank. He took a shaky breath. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

He didn’t even wait for her to respond before he hung up, walking quickly out of the room. He ignored Ethen’s calls for him, only taking about a minute before he was sprinting to where he parked his car. 

The next half hour it took to get to the mall was a blur, his mind a jumble of worry and confusion. All he could think was Ethan. Was he okay? Where was he? Did he get out? Was he…? 

_No._

Erik cursed loudly. He couldn’t let himself think like that. Not until he knew what was happening. 

Upon arriving to the scene, Erik couldn’t help but gasp at the orange glow the mall emitted. It was ablaze alright, and Erik was all the more worried. He hadn’t even bothered to turn off his car before sprinting out to where he spotted Lex. She was huddled with a group of people, and Erik only recognized a few. One being Hannah. 

Ethan was nowhere in sight. 

Erik felt like he was going to vomit as he reached the two girls. Lex looked like she’d been crying, and that did not make him feel any more confident in Ethan’s situation. 

“Erik…”

He pulled her into a tight hug. She was shaking. “Lex…” He started, licking his lips. “What happened to Ethan.” 

“I-I don’t know! He was with Hannah earlier...and now he’s not! She was by herself when I saw her...she won’t tell me anything…” 

Erik felt bile rise in his throat. He was about to speak again when he heard yelling from his right. 

“Bad blood!” Erik glanced over to Hannah, the small girl’s eyes wide with tears. His eyebrows furrowed. 

“Hannah…” he spoke softly, letting go of Lex. He walked over to the smaller girl. “What do you mean? What happened to Ethan?” 

She clutched onto the cap that laid upon her head, sniffling. “Bad men. They came and hit him...hit him hard. He..he didn’t get up…” 

Erik felt his heart drop. “What do you mean...he didn’t get up…?” 

She shook her head. “Wasn’t moving. He wasn’t moving. He’s still in there…” 

“No...he can’t be…” Erik felt his eyes start to sting, and he glanced at the burning building beside them. “No no no...no, Ethan’s fine. He’s fine...he’s gotta be…” 

“Erik…” Lex placed a hand on his shoulder. He shook it off. He could feel the stares from a few of the people around him. He wanted to scream at them, tell them to fuck off. 

“No! Ethan’s in there, he’s alive. He needs my help...I-I need to go in there—“ 

Another hand on his shoulder. This grip was firmer, the hand bigger. He glanced over to see a man. His eyes were sad, full of guilt. His lips were turned into a frown, brows furrowed. 

“You’re not going in there, kid.” 

“Like hell I’m not!” He tried to throw off the man’s hand, only for him to grab him once again. 

“I saw him. You can’t help him…I’m sorry.” 

“You...you _what?_ ” Erik felt anger burst inside of him. “What the fuck do you mean you saw him?” 

The man’s gaze went downcast, and another voice piped up. It was more feminine, tearful. 

“We watched him...w-we watched him collapse, sweetheart.” He whipped around to face the red-haired woman who spoke. His lip quivered. This couldn’t be happening… 

“No... _no no no,_ Ethan is _not_ dead! He needs me, I need to go get him!” 

He failed once again to get out of the man’s grip, and he felt tears start to leak from the corners of his eyes. 

“Erik, _please,”_ Lex said, stepping in front of him. He tried to push past her. He needed to get to Ethan, he needed to save him, he needed… 

“He’s gone.” 

Erik felt numb. He broke down, sobbing as the man finally loosened his grip on him. He managed to shake him off, only making it a few steps before collapsing into Lex’s arms. He couldn’t believe this. This couldn’t be real. _God, don’t let this be real,_ he begged. 

**[Howdy. You’ve reached a special little point in this here fanfiction! This is the point where YOU get to decide which ending you get to read! If you like the way this story is heading already, feel free to just go to the next chapter! If not, go ahead and skip it to get to the third! That’s the ending we call the “happier ending”. It’s not...the happiest. Still better than the other one!**

**Though, I’d read both if I were you. Each has a...special little tidbit in them that I personally find cool. But I’m also biased. I AM the author after all. So do what you wish, pick your poison.**

**Your ending awaits.]**


	2. Ending #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sadder of the two endings. 
> 
> Major TW: suicide, death, graphic descriptions of both.

Erik didn’t quite know what to think. The love of his life just...gone. Forever. Ethan was his everything, his baby. He’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. And to think, the last time they spoke was during that stupid argument. God, if he had just not told him about the mission, or agreed not to go, maybe things wouldn’t have ended up like this. 

He felt Lex’s fingers card through his hair. What was meant to be a soothing gesture only made him feel like he was drowning. Ethan loved to do that. Ethan couldn’t do that anymore. Ethan… 

Erik sobbed, not even bothering to hide it as he sunk to his knees in front of Lex. 

His love, his joy, his everything….Ethan was gone forever, and he wasn’t getting him back. 

They found what was left of Ethan’s body the next day. Lex had begged Erik not to go and try to see him, but he did, and he regretted it. He couldn’t even recognize his lover, the corpse that was brought out burnt beyond recognition. 

They’d given him the only thing they found on Ethan that was still intact. It was a necklace. It was slightly melted, but Erik could still make out the charm that it had once been. 

A set of drums. 

That night he cried until he had no tears left to shed. He had the necklace clutched tightly to his chest, along with one of Ethan’s shirts that he’d found lying around. 

He stayed like that, curled up in his bed for days. Weeks. He didn’t answer the phone, didn’t eat, didn’t sleep. 

_“Oh, I’m probably not smart enough for that, sorry!”_

Those had been Ethan’s last words to him. He couldn’t help but feel sick every time he remembered them. He felt guilt eat at him the more time went on. It was his fault Ethan died. He could’ve warned him, could’ve went to the mall despite orders. 

It was his fault. His fault, his fault _his fault his faulthisfaulthisfaulthisfault—_

The phone started to ring again. Erik threw it at the wall. A couple of seconds passed. Then there was banging on his front door. 

“Go away!” He screamed, not even sitting up from his place on his bed. 

More banging, then a voice. 

“Erik, get your ass over here and answer the door!” 

_Ethen._

Erik tried to ignore him, tried to just forget, but Ethen continued banging on his door. He got fed up after a moment, and threw his covers off of himself. He still held Ethan’s shirt as he stomped over to his front door, flinging it open. 

There was Ethen in all his glory. Erik grew suspicious when he noticed that the man was in mission gear, a duffle bag in hand. 

“What?” He spat, glaring at him. 

Ethen pursed his lips. “We’re going on a mission.” 

“No we’re not. Leave.” 

“This isn’t healthy, Erik!” 

Erik scoffed. “I’m fucking _grieving_ , asshole! It hasn’t even been a month!” 

Ethen sighed, not speaking for a moment. Then, “Listen...you know I care about you. You’re my best friend, Erik. But it _has_ been a month. It’s been more than that. The fact that you haven’t realized that...god, man. It hurts seeing you like this.” 

Erik didn’t meet his gaze. Had it been that long, really? He squeezed Ethan’s shirt tighter to his chest. 

“Come on. You need to get out, and PEIP needs you. I need you, buddy. And so does John.” 

“What about John?” 

“That’s what this mission is for, Erik. We’re gonna try and find him.” 

Erik narrowed his eyes at the other, frown deepening. “Didn’t Howie say John’s body was gone? That he couldn’t survive in the Black and White?” 

Ethen nodded. “Yes, but we have to make sure. It’ll be a quick trip there and back. If we don’t find him, we don’t find him. But we have to try, right?” 

Erik was silent, thinking. He wanted to be left alone, yes...but the more he thought about what he’d been doing, the more he realized this wouldn’t have been what Ethan would want for him. Ethan would want him to live his life, not stay a mess for months to come. 

He took a deep breath before replying, “Fine. Fine, I’ll go.” 

Ethen beamed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Glad to have you, bud. Now…” He held up the duffle bag. “Let’s get you ready. No offense but...you kinda stink.” 

Erik glared at him. “Don’t push it.” 

The blonde held up his hands in surrender. “Got it. Got it.” They walked into Erik’s apartment, and Ethen was silent as they headed toward the man’s bedroom before finally speaking. His tone was serious now, softer. “He really loved you, y’know...I could see it. He wouldn’t blame you for any of this.” 

Erik started to dispute him, but Ethen continued, “I can see it in your eyes, bub. I know you blame yourself. It’s not your fault what happened. Not any of it.” 

Erik swallowed thickly, just nodding. They were silent as Erik got ready, silent as they made their way to headquarters, and silent as they prepared themselves to go through the portal to the Black and White. 

Erik clutched the necklace hanging around his neck, ignoring the worried stare from Ethen as they stepped through the portal with a few of the other agents. 

They’d been apprehensive about him coming with at first, not wanting a liability. But one glare from Ethen had them shutting their mouths. 

The first thing that registered to Erik was how black his surroundings were. It was almost like a void, never ending, and freaky as fuck. 

Erik took a shaky breath, eying the others as they signaled for everyone to split up in twos. Ethen was with him, of course, as they wandered off to their left. 

It was eerily silent, beside the light breathing that he heard from himself inside his suit. It was silent until he started hearing whispers. The sound licked at the back of his brain, and he whipped around, paranoid. 

“Erik?” 

The redhead eyed Ethen, licking his lips nervously. “Thought I heard something…never mind.”

Ethen nodded warily, and then they started walking again. The whispers started up again, but this time, they were louder. 

_“Erik….can you hear me, doll?”_

Erik paused, standing stick still. There was only one person who called him by that nickname. In front of him, Ethen kept on walking, unaware that his partner had stopped. 

_“You hear me...I know you do…”_

“Who’s there?” Erik’s voice sounded so loud in the silence. He gulped, eyeing his surroundings. It was sudden, the feeling of strong arms wrapping around his waist. He whipped around, having recognized the feel of leather a long time ago. 

_“Ethan.”_

There he was. His dead lover in all his former glory. Erik felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

“Hey, baby. Miss me?” 

“You’re not…” Erik backed up a bit. “Ethan’s dead.” 

“Au contraire, Erik.” Ethan smirked. Erik had missed that smirk. “I’m very alive. After all, I’m right here.” 

“You’re not wearing a suit. You’d dematerialize.” 

Ethan’s lip twitched for a moment, and Erik felt like his heart was in his throat. 

“You’re really hurtin’ my feelings, doll. I came all this way just to surprise you...and you treat me like this?” 

“No!” Erik found himself saying before he could stop himself. “That’s not it..” What was he doing? This wasn’t...but maybe it was? Weirder things had happened...what if this was his Ethan? 

“I’d never trick you, Erik. You know that, right? How much I care about you? How much I love you?” 

“Of course I do! Of course…” 

Erik stepped closer to Ethan. The man’s smirk widened. He tugged Erik into his arms, hand cupping Erik’s helmet. 

“I want to touch you...touch your face. I miss it. It’s been too long.” 

Erik bit his lip. “I-I can’t...I don’t know why it’s not affecting you, but the Black and White would—“ 

“Even after what you did to me? Now, that’s just mean…” 

Erik gulped. “I don’t know what you mean…”

Ethan sneered, and Erik felt chills run up his spine. This was his Ethan, right? Had to be...god, he needed it to be. 

“You left me to die. You’re the reason I ended up the way I did.” 

“B-But you’re not dead, right? You’re right here…”

Ethan chuckled. The sound was unnerving, and it didn’t sound like his lover at all. Erik tried to get out from the man’s grasp, but he found he couldn’t. 

“Dead...not dead. It still applies. You could’ve saved me, and you didn’t. Even after how much I loved you, you still didn’t love me the same...that’s why you left me, isn’t it?” 

“No!” Erik cupped Ethan’s cheek, eyes wide with desperation. “No no no...I didn’t want to leave you, I didn’t…” 

“You did. You hate me.” 

“No no no no, don’t say that. I love you so much…” Erik could feel tears start to prick at his eyes. 

“You left me to die. I died. I fucking _died_ because of your carelessness. You don’t care about me. You never did.” 

Erik muffled a sob. “I didn’t wanna...I care about you with all my heart...I tried to go in—“ 

“You didn’t. And now I’m fucking six feet under, and it’s your fault. And now you come here? After I told you not to?” 

“E-Ethen brought me…” 

Ethan growled. It was inhuman, strange. It made Erik feel sick, but he was too caught up in his own feelings to care. 

“Of course he fucking did. You always listened to him rather than me.” 

“That’s not true!” 

_“Erik!”_

Said man whipped his head around to see his partner, running toward him like the world depended on it. His eyes were wide with fear. 

“Oh, there he comes now. Of fucking course! Tell him to go away, baby. You’re mine right now.” 

Unable to stop himself, Erik spoke. “Ethen...just leave. I’m fine.” 

Ethen didn’t leave. “Are you fucking _mental?_ That’s not fucking Ethan, dumbass! Get away from him!” 

Erik held on tighter to Ethan. What was he saying..? This was Ethan. He was here, with him. He’d come back to him. 

“He’s trying to take you from me again…” 

“He’s not. I won’t let him.” 

Erik turned back to Ethan, ignoring how his partner yelled for him. His mind felt hazy, like he could only focus on Ethan. The green of his eyes...wait, the green? 

“Tell him to go away. You’re mine. You say you love me, you love me right?” 

“Of course I do..” 

“Tell him to leave. He can go home...stay with me here. You belong with me.” 

Erik’s brows furrowed. “We need to go home, Eth...you come with us, baby…” 

Ethan frowned. “I can’t….I don’t exist in that world, Erik. I can’t go there. Stay here...stay with me…” 

“I miss you…” 

“So _stay,_ Erik. Stay here.” 

Erik gulped. He wanted Ethan. He couldn’t live without him. 

And so he nodded. 

It happened in a split second. He saw Ethan grin much too wide, and then a shot rang out. And suddenly, he was being carried away from his Ethan once again. 

“Let me go...LET ME GO!” He smacked Ethen on the back repeatedly, trying to wiggle from his grip. 

Ethan screeched, eyes a bright green. His leg had been shot. 

“You shot him! Ethen, what the fuck?! Let me go!” 

“That’s not fucking Ethan, stupid! Whatever it is is trying to trick you!” 

No no no. He couldn’t leave him again. He couldn’t—

“You’re just going to leave me again?” Ethan yelled you him. “Leave me to die just like you did before?” 

_“No!”_ Erik was sobbing again, his attempts to escape Ethen’s grip fruitless. He was going to lose the love of his life a second time, and he couldn’t do anything about it. 

“Still glad you fucking came?” 

Erik had just barely been able to loosen Ethen’s grip, about to wiggle out of it, when the blonde threw him back through the portal. 

_“Shut it down!”_

Erik screamed, trying to run back, but Ethen held him back. The portal was closing. Ethan would be gone. _Ethan would be gone._

“Let me go! I wanna go back! I wanna go back!” 

He was pinned to the ground, legs kicking wildly. He sobbed, trying to push Ethen off of him. How could he do this? How could he just leave Ethan there? 

“He wasn’t real, Erik! For fuck’s sake!” 

Erik could feel hope fade inside of him as he watched the portal close. He struggled a bit more before finally slumping against the floor, not bothering to hide his cries. 

Deep down he knew what Ethen was saying was true. He knew that couldn’t be Ethan. He’d seen the body...but he’d hoped. God, he’d hoped. 

He stopped crying after a while. Tried to ignore the whispers from his fellow agents. 

He barely registered Ethen pulling him up. Barley noticed Ethen dragging him out of the building and into his car. He couldn’t tell a person how he got back to his apartment. His mind was numb. 

Ethen had pulled him into a hug the moment they walked through the door, and Erik couldn’t help but break down again. 

“I-I miss him so much!” 

“I know...I know, bub...I’m sorry I brought you there. I’m so fucking sorry.” 

Erik clutched onto him. He was angry. He was sad. He just wanted to be done. Wanted all his pain to go away. 

He just sat there for a while, Ethen holding him as he let out his pain. 

“I ruined your shirt…” He mumbled after a bit. Ethen chuckled. It was weak. 

“I don’t care. It’s just a shirt….” 

Erik sniffled, sitting up. He wiped his eyes, sighing. “I think I’m gonna go shower...I feel dirty…” 

Ethen paused before nodding slowly. “Alright...just call me if you need anything, okay? I’m gonna stay here tonight. Or as long as you need me to.” 

Erik nodded robotically, walking swiftly past Ethen to get to his bathroom. His movements felt like they were being controlled by someone else, like he was on autopilot with no sense of direction. 

He didn’t bother locking the closed door, turning on the shower as quick as he could. He stared at himself in the mirror as he waited for it to heat up. He didn’t look like himself. 

His eyes were glassy, lifeless. He had deep bags and almost dead-looking skin. His hair was a mess, longer than he ever wanted it. 

He didn’t want to stare. Didn’t want to see what he’d become. But he couldn’t help it. 

He finally noticed the steam coming from the shower after a while, and he stripped off his clothes as fast as he could. He stepped in the water, gasping at the scalding temperature. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed under the spray, mind only circling back to one thing. 

His fault. 

It was his fault that Ethan had died, just like that thing from the Black and White had said. It was right. He was the reason Ethan was gone, he should’ve been there. 

He didn’t deserve to be here. Didn’t deserve Ethen and his support. Ethan should be here instead of him. He should he should he should…

Erik glanced at the cabinet above his sink. He couldn’t stand being in pain anymore. He couldn’t stand living in a world without Ethan, couldn’t deal with the guilt he felt. 

He reached for the cabinet, able to open it from where he was standing. He grabbed the strongest pills he knew he had in there, hands shaking. 

He started to tear up as he unscrewed the lid, throat thick. He tapped the side of it against his palm, letting the tablets flow onto it. 

Before he could regret his decision, he shoved the handful into his mouth, chasing them down with the shower water. His tears flowed freely as he repeated the process. His hands were still shaking as he downed the last of the pills. 

He sunk down against the shower wall, trying to muffle  
his sobs. He could feel himself grow a bit sluggish, heart beating quickly as he realized what exactly he’d done. 

He didn’t regret it though, despite how scared he was. He couldn’t handle staying. Ethan wasn’t there. John wasn’t there. Ethen would move on. The world wouldn’t miss him. Everything would be fine. 

His sobs stopped after a few minutes, his eyelids growing heavy. His chest felt constricted, but he didn’t panic. 

He barely registered the sudden knocking on the door. His eyes closed, and he tried to calm himself as he waited. More knocking. Then banging. 

Erik was glad he could barely hear the sound of Ethen screaming when he walked into the bathroom. It would be okay, he told himself. Everything would be okay. 

The world would be fine without him. They’d move on, just like they’d done with his boyfriend. 

And when he fell asleep for the last time, he hoped that when he woke up wherever he’d go, he’d get to see that smile he loved on Ethan’s face once again.


	3. Ending #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The happier of the two endings. This one is...a bit shorter than the other, but it still is an ending! 
> 
> Forgive me, I wrote this ending after the other, and I was _drained_. I wrote most of this whole fic in one night because I procrastinate. It’s currently 5:20am as I write this.

Inside the mall was scorching. Inside the mall, Ethan was waking up. 

It had started with the smoke, then the heat. It was enough to wake his beaten ass, eyes blinking open heavily. He winced as he coughed, eyes tearing up from his surroundings. 

He groaned as he tried to sit up. He knew some things were probably broken. Ribs, nose, probably somewhere on his skull. 

His eyes widened as he realized what exactly was around him. Fire. A fuck ton of fire. 

Scrambling to get up, he tried to find a path that didn’t guarantee him certain death. Ceiling tiles fell as he ran the best he could through the mall. 

The smell of burning flesh filled the air, and Ethan tried not to think about it as he passed by the slumped over bodies of people he recognized. Two of them being the men who attacked him. 

He practically sprinted when he saw the exit, his chest burning from the smoke and the pain in his body. He tried not to help in pain when he shoved open the doors, the metal and glass scorching to the touch. 

He gulped in fresh air when he made it out, only to practically hack up a lung because of it. He looked around the busy parking lot, heart going wild at the sight of so many flashing lights from the emergency vehicles. There were so many people...people. 

_Lex and Hannah!_

Ethan immediately scoured the lot for the two of them, his breathing getting shallow the longer he couldn’t find them. When he did, finally, he felt like crying. 

Who were they with..? 

Was that…? 

Ethan’s breath caught in his throat. 

_Erik._

Now that really made him want to cry. He’d forgotten all that happened earlier in the day as he ran toward the group, ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest and head. His vision was spotty, but he couldn’t stop, not now. 

He was almost stopped by a paramedic and a cop as he ran, but he ignored all calls for him. His gaze was only zeroed in on his boyfriend. 

They made eye contact when Ethan was only a few yards away, and he couldn’t believe the absolute look of shock on the other man’s face. 

Erik darted around where Lex stood, and when Ethan reached him, he took him into his arms, grip tight as could be. 

“Ethan! Oh my fucking god…” The older man was crying, hands suddenly coming up to cradle Ethan’s beaten face. 

Tears slipped down Ethan’s own face, and he gripped onto Erik’s wrists. “I’m here…m’ right here…” 

“You’re hurt, fuck you’re hurt! Y-You need to get to a hospital, w-we need—“ 

Ethan shut him up with a kiss. He ignored the pain he felt in doing so, but he _needed_ to have this. Especially since he already felt like passing out again. He needed Erik to know how he felt before he fell unconscious again. 

“I love you…” he mumbled after he broke the kiss. 

“Ethan..” Erik’s eyes widened. This one hell of a time to admit love to someone. 

“I love you...I love you...m’ sorry...I love you so much…” 

“Hey, hey...shhhh.” He could feel Erik start to panic as he wobbled against him, his eyelids drooping. “Stay with me, Ethan...don’t fall asleep. I need you awake—HEY CAN WE GET A MEDIC OVER HERE?!” 

He vaguely heard the sound of rushing footsteps against asphalt before his eyes closed again, and he once again succumbed to darkness. 

When he awoke again, it was in a hospital room. He hasn’t opened his eyes quite yet, and his limbs felt like lead. He felt a warm weight pressing against his thigh. 

He finally blinked his eyes open, curious. A small smile came to his lips when he realized it was Erik. The man’s hair was all messed up, eyes closed as he slept. He guessed that the older man had stayed up worrying about him, judging by the heavy bags under his eyes. 

When he finally felt like he had enough strength to do so, he lifted up his hand, movement shaky as he placed it on top of Erik’s head. He carded his fingers through the man’s hair, feeling at peace, despite being where he was. 

He felt Erik lean unconsciously into his touch, and that only made Ethan smile more. He was so cute, so perfect in Ethan’s eyes. He didn’t know what he’d do without him. 

Ethan just continued to watch Erik as he slept, fingers still doing their thing until the man finally started to rouse. It was a lengthy process of Erik blinking open his eyes as slow as could be, and then came the realization of his situation, then of Ethan being awake. 

He shot up, eyes wide. 

“Ethan! Holy fuck, you’re awake!” He pressed a hard kiss to his knuckles, and Ethan felt his heart constrict as the man blinked back tears. 

“Hi baby…” 

Erik beamed. “Hold on hold on...I need to get the nurse. They told me to do that when you woke up.” 

“Such a rule follower,” Ethan teased, and Erik playfully rolled his eyes before leaving the room. 

He came back just moments later with a nurse. It was explained to him that due to the injuries he’d received, they’d put him in a medically induced coma to let him heal. After asking him tons of questions and checking his vitals, she left the room, leaving Ethan alone with Erik once again. 

Erik took his hand once more, pressing another smatter of kisses over it. He squeezed it tightly. 

“God, you have no idea how worried I was...I was so afraid I lost you, Ethan.” 

Ethan frowned, trying to shuffle closer to Erik. “You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.” 

Erik let out a wet chuckle. “I know, and I’m so lucky that you are.” He bit his lip before speaking again. “I couldn’t lose someone else, Ethan...I was so terrified that I would.” 

“Someone else?” 

A sad smile appeared on Erik’s face. “My brother Hudson. We were both young when it happened, I….” he blinked back tears. “I can’t go through something like that again. Especially with you when I...when I love you so much.” 

Ethan’s heart warmed, and he puckered his lips so that Erik would lean over and kiss him. Erik did just that, gentle, as to not injure him any more than he already was. 

“I love you too. So much. You’re everything to me, Erik.” He leaned into Erik’s touch when the man cupped his cheek gingerly. “And I’m so sorry you had to go through something like that...I’d take away your pain if I could.” 

Erik shook his head. “I wouldn’t wish that on you, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He placed another soft kiss to Ethan’s lips. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“All thanks to you. You took care of me.” 

Erik snorted, shaking his head again. “I just brought you here. You got yourself out of the flaming frickin’ mall like you did. My brave man.” 

Ethan laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “You’re such a sap, Erik.”

He was going to be okay. They were going to be okay. 

As long as they had each other.


End file.
